“A few days later, we got another one, and I knew we had a problem,” said McLean, 44.
Since the first piece of hate mail arrived, a steady stream of letters and subscriptions to various magazines, all addressed to their home with a vulgar name, have been periodically delivered to the couple, who live in the town of Milton with their 7-year-old son, Simon.
“We contacted the police right away. They opened a file for us, but unfortunately with something like this, there’s very little to go on unless we get a handwriting sample,” said McLean, who estimated that over the past five years, the couple has received about 30 pieces of mail addressed to explicit anti-gay names, sometimes with sexual innuendo. “We had no power over the situation.”
The made-up names were subtle enough that the publications probably did not notice, but the message was clear to McLean and Furze: Someone knew where they lived, and they were harassing them because they’re gay.
During the coronavirus pandemic, the couple — both of whom are involved in local politics — got a short respite from the unsolicited mail, but in early May, the harassment resumed. They received a subscription order for the Boston Globe, addressed to “Michelle Fruitzey” — a mocking amalgamation of the two men’s names.
“It was very disheartening to think this was starting again. It was even more concerning now, because our son is 7 and can reach the top of the counter and pull mail and read,” said Furze, 45, who is a senior vice president at a real estate development company. “Suddenly, it had a whole new level of concern, because it was going to be harder to protect him from it.”
“I thought, ‘Is it going to stop with mail or is it going to turn into something else?’ ”
But after five years of persistent harassment, the couple, who have been married for 12 years, finally had something they had long been yearning for: an actionable lead.
Since they already subscribed to the Globe, the Boston newspaper sent the fake order form back to their address. And it showcased the perpetrator’s penmanship.
In addition to promptly contacting the Milton Police Department, McLean, who works for a national health-care consulting company, posted a photo of the subscription form on the town’s Facebook page, which has about 12,000 members. He hoped someone might recognize the handwriting.
Very quickly, a torrent of comments appeared from people showing support for the couple — and contempt for the targeting they’d faced.
“There were hundreds of comments of incredible support from every corner of town,” McLean said. “People were genuinely heartfelt, and they started doing all sorts of detective work.”
In fact, one Milton resident mobilized to crack the case. Less than a week after McLean shared the post, the couple was contacted by someone they didn’t know who filed a request for the town’s recent election records under the Freedom of Information Act. The resident, who chose not to publicly reveal his name, cross-referenced voter signatures with the subscription card, and fairly quickly, he managed to find what he believed to be a match, the couple said.
“He said he was really upset to see the post, so he sat down and scanned along all the election records,” said McLean. “It was an amazing gesture of humanity.”
Upon learning what they believe is the culprit’s identity, “I was floored and devastated,” Furze recalled, adding that the alleged harasser lives near the couple. “This is a neighbor that has been outwardly friendly with us.”
In some ways, though, they weren’t surprised: “I spoke with law enforcement professionals many times over the years, and they told me that almost always when this type of harassment happens, it’s someone you can see from your house,” McLean said.
After they took the information to the police, the suspect was confronted by an officer and confessed to sending the subscriptions, the couple said, though he claimed it was merely “a prank.”
“This was definitely deliberate and targeted toward this family,” said Milton Police Deputy Chief James O’Neil, who confirmed the suspect is an adult male resident of the town, though he would not provide his name or specific details, as the investigation is ongoing.
O’Neil said Milton police are seeking a charge of criminal harassment against the suspect, and they are awaiting a court date.
“A clerk magistrate will hear the proof that we present in court,” O’Neil said, adding that the defendant will also be given the opportunity to speak, and it will be determined whether a formal charge is warranted.
“With everything being digital prior, we were not able to make much progress on it, but now, some old-fashioned handwriting provided us with a break in the case, and we’re hoping it brings some peace to these victims,” O’Neil said.
The couple said they are relieved that the anonymous harasser has probably been identified, and that the string of homophobic junk mail would finally cease. Still, they felt a lingering sadness.
“I was an emotional wreck,” explained McLean. “Looking back at five years of having nowhere to put your reaction of getting harassed, I was stuffing my feelings into a dark corner. It all came out.”
Plus, they knew they were not alone in being targeted for their sexual orientation.
“Discrimination happens in a thousand tiny ways. There are big, giant discriminatory actions that are very prevalent and very painful, but there are also a thousand little nicks that bring people down and make them feel small and powerless,” Furze said.
As messages of support from the local community continued to come in, one comment, in particular, inspired an idea to turn their sadness into hope.
On McLean’s original post, Mike Zullas, a local elected official, wrote: “I am Michelle Fruitzey” — the name the most recent subscription was addressed to.
“I thought maybe one way to take some power from the bully was to take the name,” said Zullas, who has lived in Milton since 2004. “If you’re going to call my neighbor that name, I’ll take the name, too. I’ll stand with them against you.”
Soon the post was flooded with “I am Michelle Fruitzey” comments. One by one, neighbors claimed the name. It later evolved into #iammichellefruitzey, and eventually, someone wrote: “we should get T-shirts made.” A lightbulb went on for McLean and Furze.
“We wanted to find a way to channel these feelings and the negative energy into something good,” McLean said.
The couple decided to create and sell colorful T-shirts with #iammichellefruitzey inscribed on the front and donate all proceeds to Gender-Sexuality Alliance chapters in local public schools. So far, the couple has raised more than $27,000 since they started the effort at the end of May.
“The fact that we have had messages of support from thousands of people who we don’t know, and we’ve sold hundreds of T-shirts from our little fundraiser in Milton to people all over the country, is stunning,” Furze said.
The T-shirts, which are $30 each, are sold through the fundraising website, Fundly. Donations from $5 to more than $500 have poured in over the past few weeks.
Although the details are still being finalized, the funds will go toward an ongoing college scholarship awarded to local students who stand up against bullying and support the LGBTQ+ community.
Liz Hallisey, a special-education teacher at Milton High School and a co-adviser for the Gender-Sexuality Alliance, said the organization is deeply touched by the initiative.
“The school, the students, and the town are very grateful that these gentlemen chose to share their story,” Hallisey said.
On June 16, Furze and McLean joined a Gender-Sexuality Alliance meeting at the high school and spoke to students about their experience.
“It really resonated with them that the greater Milton community rallied around these men,” Hallisey said. “It taught them that you can face adversity and still turn it around into something positive that can have an impact on other people.”
The couple’s goal is to continue the fundraising initiative.
“We are so excited to work with these kids to come up with amazing criteria for the scholarship and have this lasting gift,” Furze said.
His husband agreed.
“We are very happy that we were able to take the name back, and turn this painful story into something truly positive,” McLean said.
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A gay couple faced vulgar harassment. A neighbor helped find the suspect with a handwriting sample. - The Washington Post
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